Heard it all? Think again. Here are a few new words for educators

Assessmental – The idea that high standards for education are possible when assessment testing takes precedence over real learning in the classroom.

Bookstache – The facial hair added by students to every portrait in the American history textbook.

Colate – Two students who arrive tardy to class at the same time.

Corroborative learning – When all the students in a class agree to stick to the same excuse for why their work is not done.

Digital disorganizers – Fascinating electronic organizers that distract students from paying attention to assignments, instructions, and due dates.

Dispedefflent – The aroma that fills the air when students remove their shoes during class.

Fontics – Literacy training through the use of wacky computer type fonts.

Handoubt – To wonder if the students even looked at the important papers you just passed them.

Hydropendant – Student who requests permission to get a drink of water every ten minutes.

Interconversations – The office conversations you overhear when someone forgets to turn off the intercom after an announcement.

McDone – Students unable to participate in the afternoon’s learning activities because they consumed large amounts of fast food for lunch.

Meview – A class review of material in which the only one really reviewing is the teacher.

Plausea – The nauseous feeling a teacher gets while trying to figure out if a student’s excuse is believable or not.

Powerpointless – A wonderfully executed, high tech presentation completely devoid of meaningful content.

Repedementia – Repeatedly telling the same joke to the same class because you can’t remember which of your classes you’ve told it to.

Seatables – The little pieces of school lunch that hide on the seats of school lunchroom chairs waiting to adhere to the next unsuspecting sitter.

Signotsure – The signature that comes back on a mid-term report that looks more like the student’s than the parent’s.

Strobed – Feeling you have after spending all day in a classroom with florescent lights that do that flicker thing.

Teacherscreen – The student who stands in front of you to purposefully block your view of the rest of the class as he asks you a question.

Telesubbies – Substitute teachers who only show videos.

Torigami – Assignment papers folded and unfolded so many times that they are turned in as sixteen separate pieces.

Wired classroom – Any classroom in which the teacher has had more than five cups of coffee and each student has had more than two cans of Mountain Dew.

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